Absolute Must-Haves Der Saison

I ordered a pair of Merrell walking boots from Amazon.co.uk. Upon opening the delivered box, other than my shoes I found some additional advertising. No surprise that, of course….

Vinos.de

Vinos.de

Absolute Must-Haves Der Saison.

Absolute Must-Haves Der Saison.

….other than the fact that, umm, as you may have noticed from those photos, the leaflets are in German. By that I mean those ads are entirely in German. (Aside from the obviously borrowed English.) Not a trace of any other language.

Not even, uh, French? Is that allowed? ;-)

Hmm, I do have to say, though, that’s a pretty good deal for that Spanish wine, from a German web site, sent to me unsolicited in England (and that, other than a few words, I don’t know much German).

Welcome to the European Union! ;-)

Have a good Thursday!

If You Use Twitter….

….you aren’t necessarily following someone you may for a moment think you are. Twitter is slipping in follow suggestions among people you actually do follow. Yesterday, I noticed this:

Twitter, slipping in a "follow" suggestion among your actual follows.

Twitter, slipping in a “follow” suggestion among your actual follows.

I’m a fan of India, and follow some India-sourced media. That may be why “Make in India” was parachuted in for me as a suggested follow. But still, Twitter’s gettin’ increasingly Facebook-like slippery and “sneaky” at times, ain’t it?

Oh, and don’t you sit there being all judgemental at my following new! magazine. In an often all too ugly, nasty world, we all need some vacuous stuff now and then in our timelines. You may know already I follow Closer as well. ;-)

Try to have a good Tuesday, wherever you are….

“God, she’s younger than my daughter!”

My HarperCollins novelist uncle was messaging with me on Saturday. He’d just spoken to my mother (his sister) about my father’s pending heart surgery. He also dropped in yet more authoring advice:

Engaging with a writer uncle on Facebook Messenger about writing when he doesn't know you have already written one book and are nearly finished with the second. [Screen capture by me, 2014.]

Engaging with a writer uncle on Facebook Messenger about writing when he doesn’t know you have already written one book and are nearly finished with the second. [Screen capture by me, 2014.]

On Facebook, as you can see, he’s not always exactly, ummm, a wordsmith.

His first novel appeared in the early 1980s; and he has also written short stories, screenplays, and, recently, a stage play. “I’m why they have editors,” I vaguely remember him once saying. I also recall some years ago how, when one of his books was being edited by “some 21 year old” woman and evidently feeling his age a bit, he shook his head and harrumphed to me, “God, she’s younger than my daughter!”

Free Stock Photo: A pair of glasses with an open book.

Free Stock Photo: A pair of glasses with an open book.

Yes, life is indeed endless “fictional” source material. ;-)

I started this “I think I’d like to write a novel” tease with him. I admit this little game is entirely my fault. But now he won’t stop offering me advice.

So now I just have to figure out how to get out of this “literary” corner into which I’ve painted myself. :-) Hope you have a good day. Happy Monday [grumble, grumble].

It’s So Profound, It Should Be Shown On BBC 4

In working to finish Frontiers once and for all, I’ve vowed not to spend too much time on the net over this weekend.

I have had quite a few new followers in recent weeks. [Hello!] If you’re interested in what on earth “makes me tick,” and haven’t seen it, a couple of months ago I posted an interview I conducted…. errr, with myself. Let’s call this, here, an encore presentation. ;-)

Free Stock Photo: Illustration of television screens with commercials

Free Stock Photo: Illustration of television screens with commercials

Seeing those posts initially in September, some close to me were sure I had finally, uh, come authoringly unglued.

I assure you I hadn’t, and I haven’t. Writing requires determination and dedication of course. But we also need a sense of humor and to laugh a bit occasionally – including especially at ourselves in having chosen to write. :-)

Hope you have a good Sunday.

Marketing, Uh, Explained

Emma Suleiman shared this silliness yesterday on Twitter. It’s so good, I can’t not share it here too. Click here, or on the photo itself, to follow the link to the full, “9 point, explanation”:

image

Women work in marketing too, of course. Leaving aside that “his take” is decidedly, uh, “man-sided,” it may still make you smile. And if you work, or have worked, in marketing, it may ring all too true. ;-)

Anyway, I’m shortly about to begin the battle of the desk.

Later, I will continue trying to finish Frontiers entirely. I’m at that point where I feel I’m getting stuck in ever deeper thick figurative mud with every page I proof. ["Oh, I hate that sentence.... God, and that other sentence after it doesn't work.... "Oh, and I've used that word three times in two paragraphs... Arrgh!"] But it’s almost done.

Have a good Wednesday, wherever you are reading this. :-)

A Desk…. Eventually, I Hope

My desk has arrived!

This is what will be a desk, I hope. [Photo by me, 2014.]

This is what will be a desk, I hope. [Photo by me, 2014.]

And after opening the two large boxes and laying out the numerous parts to attempt to prepare to construct it (tomorrow, because I can’t face this now, today), I became firmly convinced that one level of Hell must consist of the damned spending eternity being compelled to put together ever more complicated self-assembly furniture. ;-)

And You Ask Where Novelists Find Material?

Here’s a UK TV listing for a showing of The Longest Day. I screen grabbed it back on Saturday. Why? Because it made me chuckle:

Screen capture of The Longest Day listing on Sky, on Saturday afternoon.

Screen capture of The Longest Day listing on More 4 on Saturday afternoon.

You gotta love it. The British do “subtle” like almost no one else. Notice that the British cast – despite John Wayne’s photo – get first national mention. And also note which country gets last mention…. after even…. the Germans.

I love stumbling on stuff such as that. We all seem hard wired to have a bit of a dig at each other. A couple of decades of encountering the likes of that has helped provide me with material in two novels so far. ;-)

Happy Monday [grumble, grumble], wherever you are in the world. :-)

Here’s The Proof

Drumroll please….

Free Stock Photo: Illustration of a toy drum

Free Stock Photo: Illustration of a toy drum

It arrived yesterday afternoon. The first paperback copy! Here it is!:

Frontiers cover. [Photo by me, 2014.]

Frontiers cover. [Photo by me, 2014.]

You may know you’ve written 100,000 words. And you may see it on a screen. However, it never seems quite real and legit until you finally see your struggle in print. (To me, anyway.)

Oh, and here they are, posing together:

Passports and Frontiers, side by side. [Photo by me, 2014.]

Passports and Frontiers, side by side. [Photo by me, 2014.]

Passports and Frontiers, side by side. [Photo by me, 2014.]

Passports and Frontiers, side by side. [Photo by me, 2014.]

I think they sit well side by side. And they should. Being a series, I’ve made sure they are laid out similarly.

Now to the next task: re-reading and scribbling in that Frontiers “proof” copy. Time to scour it word by word, pencil in hand, for small errors. Final corrections.

New York governor Andrew Cuomo, a word of advice: you should’ve penned fiction. Young adult perhaps. Maybe vampires too. (Note: I have already apologized for the lack of vampires in my work.)

Although many might also assert that a political memoir could be, uh, rather “fictional” too.

What I write about here revolves around a group of intriguing twenty and thirty-somethings from several countries and a variety of cultures and upbringings. And their families. And, uh, crime novelist Uncle Bill too. (Don’t want to forget Uncle Bill!)

Frontiers tentative back cover. [Photo by me, 2014.]

Frontiers’ tentative back cover. [Photo by me, 2014.]

Have a good weekend, wherever in the world you are reading this. :-)

Oh, and Happy Halloween. Be mindful of the politicians the vampires roaming around out there tonight!

New Authors, Take Heart

Politics on the Hudson blogged this on Wednesday:

After selling 945 copies in its first week of publication, sales of [New York Governor Andrew] Cuomo’s memoir dropped to 535 during the second week, according to The New York Times, which cited figures from Neilsen BookScan.

An imprint of HarperCollins released Cuomo’s book, “All Things Possible: Setbacks and Success in Politics and Life,” on Oct. 14, and it has sold poorly….

I tweeted the opening line of that blog post:

image

So we new authors are not alone. Even someone with a huge book deal and endless free media coverage doesn’t always sell masses of books. Indeed, the New York governor’s sales situation is perhaps even more discouraging – for his publisher – for this reason:

….The Wall Street Journal reported in July that HarperCollins had ordered an initial printing of 200,000 copies of the book….

Uh, it looks like they really should have considered using print-on-demand, Createspace. ;-)

Wall, Meet Head

Shortly after I awoke at 5:15 (uh, that’s “AM,” just to be clear), the subject for this post hit me.

You can write 100,000 words in a sweeping, multifaceted, transcontinental story. It may cover over a dozen major characters you struggle to bring to life, to make them “people” with all of their individual layers, quirks, and shortcomings as well as positives. Doing that’s the easy part.

Because eventually you have to pull it together. What is it REALLY about? Good grief, you have to try to sum it up.

It’s time for…. the back cover blurb.

Now, composing that is to discover true writing terror.

Eventually, after you’ve been through about your 863rd version, someone offers this helpful suggestion: “Just think of it as your elevator pitch.”

As if you hadn’t thought of that already? And you think, “Oh, shut up.” Only someone who never put all of themselves into those 100,000 words would ever employ a vacuous, reality TV, pompous “entrepreneurs’” dopey expression like that.

Sorry, sorry. That’s just my haughty, self-important novelist bursting out briefly. I’m still practicing it! ;-)

For Passports, I had a small (very helpful) “committee” reviewing my back cover, tweaking words, and making suggestions:

Back cover of Passports, on my ad hoc holiday cottage desk. Turleigh, Wiltshire. [Photo by me, 2014.]

Back cover of Passports, on my ad hoc holiday cottage desk. Turleigh, Wiltshire. [Photo by me, 2014.]

“You should include _____,” and “Make sure you mention _____,” and “Don’t forget to say _____,” and “You don’t really need to say _____.”

Above all, you don’t want to give away too much. You want a potential reader to get a sense of what’s inside – of what you battled to produce in 100,000 words. But you can’t rewrite the book on the cover. Thankfully, that helpful “committee” included a friend who’s a children’s book author, as well as another who’s a professional marketer.

By the end of the process, though, I still wanted to ram my head against a wall repeatedly.

Well, the sequel now really needs its cover blurb. No more putting off the inevitable. Here we go again…..

Have a good Wednesday, wherever you are in the world. Myself? Oh, look, there’s a wall just next to where I’m sitting typing this.

Hmm, it looks as hard as rock – which it should because it’s solid stone, not drywall. This is rural England. It’s not a wood-framed, suburban U.S.-style house we’re staying in currently.

Exposed stone, underneath the plaster, on the wall next to the entrance to the kitchen. Turleigh, Wiltshire. [Photo by me, 2014.]

Exposed stone, underneath the plaster, on the wall next to the entrance to the kitchen. Turleigh, Wiltshire. [Photo by me, 2014.]

Hmm. Maybe I should think twice about beating my head against the likes of that. :-)