Ah, you came back. Thank you.
I apologize for having gone somewhat “professorial” yesterday after I’d stumbled over some in U.S. media’s indifference as to why most European countries have anti-hate speech laws in the first place. That tweet wasn’t the only example. Too many seem to expect everyone to understand us – our history, our heritage, what makes us tick – but appear utterly unable to make the modest effort to try to understand anyone else.
Anyway, after I got that out of my system, I forced myself to get down to more writing. I employed my tried and true method. “Ok, friends,” I looked at the screen and asked myself, “so what are we going to do today?”
I’m learning that no matter how much you write, it never gets easier. The creative process each day is much the same. And regardless of all you’d written before, you still feel only as good as your last paragraph.
The only consolation is after two novels with most of the same characters, by the start of the third one you know pretty well who they all are. You could practically have them write their own dialogue. And if you asked them about something currently happening in the real world, you suspect, uh, they’d have an opinion or two:
“What is this show?” she questioned, raising her eyebrows, incredulous.
James sat on the sofa next to her. She handed him the remote. “It looks like a repeat from a few years ago,” he said. “It’s on live late on, uh, Saturday nights.”
“I cannot believe this, the way they are making fun of Arabs,” she observed, appalled at what she was seeing.
James’s grandmother appeared. They wished her good morning as she took a seat.
Revisiting the television program, James continued. “Oh, they blast everything. Some of it is in bad taste for sure. A lot of it isn’t funny also.”
“You would not see that in France,” Isabelle noted seriously. “We must be careful. We have bombs in France for years. Now you here see the World Trade Center.”
By the end, I think I had some good bits fall onto the “page.” (Technically, into Word on the Microsoft Surface Pro 3.) I’m still in the early, “skeleton” phase. With Frontiers, last year, I learned you should never, ever, consider “the long road” ahead.
However, I made a terrible mistake mentally in briefly doing precisely that. I’d sat back at one point and considered the finished books – which are sitting on my desk an arm’s reach away. For extra inspiration, I also have a group photo propped up of a bunch of us, and it includes our late friend Kam – in the last photo of her we took together.
The picture was suddenly the opposite of inspirational: it depressed me.
The books themselves were, in their ways, worse. Nearly 200,000 words and over 2 years work were staring back at me.
For a moment, I had a chill.
I put on my Sara Bareilles CD.
See, I was telling the truth. I wasn’t kidding. I have that CD.
Briefly, I also really wanted to pour myself a drink – which I immediately discounted doing, while alone, before noon!
A Sprite had to suffice.
I’d also considered taking a nap. (Obscure – or not so obscure, if you watch the program – Mad Men reference.)
I know I wrote something similar on here last year. Another volume to complete. Doing it AGAIN is a daunting task.
While you may have the book outlined, that’s far different than having the full tale completed. What gets you through is never imagining the “entire” project. Instead, it’s a series of tightly focused, small steps.
Slowly, a day at a time, that frightening void you had been staring at begins to fill itself up.
At least, early on, that’s what you must keep telling yourself.
Have a good Friday, wherever you are in world. :-)